Was ready to give up

When I was about 16 or so,   I was told that I was adopted by my Step Father, 

Not really a big deal to some but I was curious. I wanted to know more 

about my real father and that side of the family. I began searching and was told that

my real father had been killed when I was 5. I know how and where I just have yet to 

completely get a why out of any one.. I went to one Family Reunion for my dad's 

side of the family and met most of my relatives.   Over the years I have lost touch
with most and pretty much all of them, but over the past few days I have been
getting info and talking to a few I never knew were around..
I keep getting the same response and have been told a million times 
That they never knew that my dad had any chidlren, and a few told me to give up
because no one wants to talk to me and that I should give up.  Why would I give up now
when i have just gotten this far and finally getting somewhere..
I don't know sometimes I think I should have just left well enough alone and
never bothered to even start looking again but then again I am glad I did..
I want to know more about my father, What was he like when he was younger?
what was he like as an adult before he was killed? What was he like all together?
Hell, I just wish I could see him 1 time, to show him how I grew up, so he could see his
grand kids, so he could meet his son in law and everything else..
It is just so frustrating...

 A picture of my dad and his family..
Back standing left is my dad, His sister (center), His Mom(right)
kneeling is his Brother Kevin (left) and Allen (right)